


The Dangers of Flirting with an Angel

by sherlockruiningmylife



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Amused Crowley (Good Omens), Awkward Flirting, Clubbing, Dancing, Flirting, M/M, Oblivious Aziraphale (Good Omens), Original Character(s), Other, failed flirting, humans sticking their nose where it doesn't belong, mentions of the gavotte
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:13:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29506023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherlockruiningmylife/pseuds/sherlockruiningmylife
Summary: Crowley takes Aziraphale to a club. While the demon dances, the angel receives a bit of unwarranted attention. Crowley watches with amusement as the awkward interaction unfolds.
Relationships: Aziraphale (Good Omens)/Original Male Character(s), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 50





	The Dangers of Flirting with an Angel

**Author's Note:**

> Originally this was going to be a song fic but I got distracted and ended up here instead. Still thought it was worth sharing though :)  
> May not be the finest creation by any means, and I have never been to a club so all descriptions are very vague.

Crowley wanted to dance this evening. He missed disco and felt that modern club music was lacking. With no better alternatives, there were a few clubs in the Soho area that he frequented. Sometimes he could convince the DJ to play something he could actually dance to. But usually it was just the beat and thrum of the music that carried the humans along.

This evening he was accompanied by Aziraphale. The angel was decidedly not a dancer, at least certainly not a dancer that would go to clubs. The gavotte was one thing, but what the humans were doing here was so… messy. There were some that were clearly better than others, but Aziraphale couldn’t really tell you why. It was an art form, but not the kind of art that an angel would admit to enjoying.

Aziraphale had been the one to ask to go with Crowley. He had wanted to go get sushi this evening but the demon said he already had plans.

“Could I accompany you then?” Aziraphale had asked innocently.

“Uh, Angel, I don’t mind if you come with me. But I don’t think you’d like it.”

“Oh, I am sure whatever it is, it will be enjoyable.”

“Ever been to a club?”

“Well I did spend a good deal of time at-”

“Nope, not that kind of club,” Crowley cut off the angel before he could fawn over the gavotte again, “I mean a proper London club, with loud music, lots of humans, and dancing.”

“No, I don’t believe have been to any like that. But I am sure it would be fine,” Aziraphale protested.

Crowley had wondered what it would be like to take the angel to one of these clubs. He never thought to just ask. But he was certainly not going to deny the curious angel. And he would have to be mad to deny himself this.

“Alright, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. I’ll be back at eight, be wearing something more, flexible.”

They were in the club now. Aziraphale had left his jacket at the shop, but still wore the waistcoat and bowtie. Crowley was dressed with style as always and was presenting himself fairly androgynously. He wore a tight shirt with the front open, and tight pants. He had dark shoes that glittered a bit and had some heel. Nothing sharp, just a bit of a platform. His hair was now down to his shoulders and it was let loose. There was no need for the glasses here since it wasn’t entirely unheard of for people to wear contacts that bore some resemblance to the demon’s eyes. His eyes were outlined with thick tipped eyeliner that made the color of his eyes stand out. They seemed to be glowing against the darkness of his façade.

Crowley was on the dance floor trying to lose himself in the beat. His eye kept catching on the angel who was sitting primly at the bar. Aziraphale looked out of place. He looked like he was waiting for someone. To a human he may look uncomfortable because he sat with hands folded gently on his lap and back straight. But Crowley understood that this was just how the angel sat. This was relaxed, or as relaxed as he would get.

Aziraphale was scanning the room. He was trying to understand the sense in all of this. What was the purpose, what was the pattern? Surely there had to be a pattern. But it all looked rather aimless.

As he sat, sipping his drink, a man of about 40 approached him. Aziraphale didn’t notice until the man was close enough to be heard over the din of the music. He was well dressed like Aziraphale, but he looked more comfortable in the environment. He sidled up to the Angel and began, “Did it hurt?”

Crowley watched the man approach Aziraphale. He wasn’t terribly concerned, he knew that Aziraphale wouldn’t recognize flirting. He was too smart for that and always looked for the good in people’s intentions. So flirting was never registered by the angel. But by a demon, who had practically invented bad pick-up lines. Flirting was second nature. He could sense this man’s intentions from a mile off. But he wanted to see what the angel would do.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t notice you there kind sir. Nothing hurts, did I accidently hurt you? I should be ever so sorry if I did.”

The man looked puzzled for a moment. He figured maybe he’d said it wrong. Did he sound apologetic instead of flirtatious? Well, he was here now, no sense in letting the moment pass.

“What? No, it wasn’t a real question. I was just going to say, ‘did it hurt, when you fell from Heaven?’”

The man in front of him looked more confused still. It wasn’t an original pick-up line, surely the man had heard it before. The confusion on his face shifted then to something resembling agitation.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t _Fall_. Do I know you? Did Crowley put you up to this? I am an angel. I most certainly did not Fall!”

Maybe this was a mistake, the man thought. He ought to just say sorry and walk away. But this man was in a club, he had to have understood his intentions, surely. They were so thinly veiled that the veil was likely to be just a bit of smoke from someone nearby. And who said, ‘I am an angel’? That had caught his interest. He was pulled in and determined to at least learn a little more about this ‘angel’.

“Not sure who Crowley is, but it was just a pick-up line. Doesn’t mean anything really. Just a way to say you fancy someone, you know?”

“Oh yes I have heard of those. I think Crowley took credit for them, though I doubt they were really his idea.”

“I’m sorry, do you already have a boyfriend?”

“What?” Aziraphale was taken aback, he understood that this man had been trying to flirt. But the angel wasn’t sure if he still was. Why had he asked if he had a boyfriend?

“I thought that maybe this Crowley you are mentioning is you boyfriend or partner or something…”

“Oh no, Crowley’s not my boyfriend. He’s just over there.” Aziraphale pointed out to the dance floor where Crowley was dancing while watching the proceeding with mild amusement. He noticed Aziraphale pointing and gave a sharp toothy smile, a short wave, and a cheeky wink.

The man looked out at the person indicated. Seeing how the man was flirtation personified, he had to wonder how the one he was sitting with hadn’t picked up on his own flirting attempts.

“Right,” he said and turned back to the man, “well I am Mark,” he offered his hand to shake, the man took it cautiously, “do you come here often?” Mark already knew the answer to that question.

“What a lovely name, I am Aziraphale. And no, I am afraid this is my first time here.”

Mark laughed, “Hm yeah, I can tell,” he smiled at Aziraphale, “Aziraphale’s not a common name, I like it, what does it mean?”

“Oh, um, well it means… It is kind of hard to explain, but I suppose it means… Guardian of the Eastern Gate, Keeper of the Flaming Sword, Thwarter of the Evil Wiles.” Aziraphale had started tentatively but grown more confident with each word. They weren’t lies. His name didn’t really _mean_ anything, at least not something that could be put down in human language. But a job description was the next best thing, never mind that he had ‘lost’ the sword by day 7.

“Interesting, sounds religious. Never seen it in a Bible.”

“No, Gabriel always takes the credit, Michael likes to steal it too. They don’t really do anything though, just boss everyone around talking about the Plan.”

Maybe, Aziraphale thought inwardly, he had been drinking too much. He wasn’t sure of the alcohol content in the drink Crowley had bought him, but it must have been stronger than he anticipated. His tongue was quite loose. What could it hurt though, the human wouldn’t understand.

“Right, not sure what that means,” Mark admitted. He was going to have to go slow if he wanted to get anywhere with Aziraphale, he could tell, “what do you do for a living then, Aziraphale?”

Crowley had made his way to the DJ several minutes ago to request disco music. He was met with a sigh but the DJ gave in and put on a song. Crowley lost himself to it and by the time it was over figured he ought to check-in on the angel.

As he walked over, he saw Aziraphale talking animatedly to the same man from before. The man looked trapped and exhausted.

“Hey Angel,” Crowley swooped in beside Aziraphale, “what are you two talkin’ about?”

“Oh, I was just telling Mark here about the bookshop!” Aziraphale beamed, “He was wondering what I do, so I told him all about my collection. _He_ is actually listening, unlike you my dear.”

Mark looked as though he had quit listening some time ago. Crowley wasn’t sure how long the angel had been talking to him. But Crowley knew it was enough for the man to think twice about any future advances on harmless looking middle-aged men. Crowley gave the man a knowing glance and mocked sympathy. He didn’t really care about Mark but was glad for the brief company of someone who understood the energy it took to listen to the excited angel.

“Zira, I think that it is about time for us to be going. Mark has probably got to get home at this hour anyway, right?”

Seeing his escape route laid out for him by Crowley he quickly nodded and said, “Yes, I really must be going, I’ve got work in the morning so I should not have stayed out this late as it is.”

“Oh, well it was good to meet you Mark,” Aziraphale waved as the man put on his coat and began to leave.

“Yes, lovely to meet you, I really must be going though, would you look at the time.”

In the next moment, Mark was gone and Crowley had taken his seat.

“He was lying,” began Aziraphale, sounding puzzled, “he doesn’t have work in the morning, that was a lie. I could feel that.”

“Hm. Well yes Angel, you know humans do that sometimes, nothing to worry over.”

“But did I make him sin?”

“Well, I think in the grand scheme of this evening, you prevented him from most of the _sins_ he had been intent on.”

“Oh, well, that’s good,” the angel let out a small sigh and relaxed slightly.

“Angel, I think there is still a sushi place open a few blocks away. Did you want to sober up some, we can go get a few rolls?”

“That sounds lovely dear!” Aziraphale shone a twinkling smile at Crowley, Mark had been quickly forgotten. The angel and demon left the club and walked side-by-side to a late-night sushi restaurant.

Mark was on his way home. As soon as he entered his bedroom, he crashed onto the bed and slept for 12 hours without moving a muscle. He had never felt so exhausted, it took as special kind of energy and intelligence to keep up with the man he had met. And Mark was perfectly content to not have that intelligence. He was quite alright with his mediocre life in a respectable office job.

If he had been paying attention to Aziraphale’s musings, he would have noticed any number of strange things. He may have noted that the shop had been open for nearly 200 years and the man had talked about the opening day as if he had been there. He also may have wondered about how the man knew so much about Oscar Wilde. But as it was, he had barely heard most of Aziraphale’s monologue. And so, he was able to sleep without worrying about the world outside of his door. Meanwhile, across the city, an angel and a demon chatted over late night sushi. And the world spun on with them.


End file.
